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You Can't Outrun Your Own Self- Image


When we think about where we usually look for our self worth, the first thing that comes to my mind is the power of opinion. I've spent so much of my life worrying about what other people think of me. If there's one thing I can share with you today, it is to stop letting other people's opinions dictate what you do with your life and how you feel about yourself. Easier said than done, right.I don't care if it's your mom, your husband, your cat, your sister, or your best friends. None of them have to lay their head on your pillow at night none of them have to get up and look yourself in the mirror every morning. It is up to you and you alone to determine what you do with your life.

I recently resigned from my job, some might call it my "career." I was an elementary school teacher for over a decade, and worked in international schools since 2011. Someone, somewhere decided to give me a master's degree, in the Globalization of Education. I am not telling you this to prove my myself, I'm telling you this to let you know that I did all that work and still had the courage to walk away from it. The reason I walked away from it is because it didn't fit. The system didn't fit, the people didn't fit, I didn't fit and I finally realized we don't get a dress rehearsal at this thing called life. We only get one chance. I wasn't prepared to carry on with a life I felt trapped in.

Your opinion of yourself is the single most important thing in your life. Every human has the potential to grow, but most won't. The reason for this is because when you start to truly grow you have to face the things that you are bad at, and that sucks. Nobody wants to face their shortcomings head on. It's hard. Now that I'm on the other side I can tell you I've never been happier with life or as a human in general. Imagine the possibilites. What if you woke up everyday excited to fill the hours to see what new doors will open and what new connections will be made? That my friend, is truly living. No more wishing time away. In the end, the opinion that matters most is the one you hold about yourself. You cannont outrun your own self- image. Nathaniel Branden is a researcher on self-esteem and he puts it best saying, “No factor is more important in people's psychological development and motivation than the value judgments they make about themselves.

Okay, so let's talk growth and self worth. You get an education (or go down whichever path you are born in to) and you choose a career or get job based on your path in life because that is what society says you are supposed to do. You should be upwardly-mobile, then you get married, have kids and dream of buying a house and taking family vacations, maybe you have a dog and eventually you retire and live out your days in sunny Arizona or Flordia. At least, that's what I grew up thinking life should look like. Literally. There's a board game and it's called LIFE.

I am not afraid of what Society will think. There is a deep seeded certainty that failure is not an option. I always thought I didn't fit anywhere I thought the reason that I had to travel all the time was because I didn't fit. Now as a 34 year-old woman who works for herself I finally feel whole. I don't want to run and I don't want to leave or wish away time until the next job, country, trip. I want to build and create and empower. I want to support  and serve. So, if I come across somebody who doesn't like what I'm doing with my life their opinion doesn't matter anymore because I've come to realize  that the most important opinion in a person's life is their own. You can get the chance to be anyone you want to be. I have this written and posted on my wall in my next to my desk. Here's the thing though, it doesn't matter how educated how smart or how pretty you are, you can't outrun your own self-image. That's why the opinion that matters most is the opinion of yourself and you have to grow yourself first, to grow others.


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