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The Danger of Comparison


It is often said that one should not compare their own beginning to someone else's middle. Comparison can be a dangerous thing. We all do it, even when can we try not to we catch ourselves because we're human. Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Not only are we guilty of comparing ourselves to others, but what I find most troubling is the way we compare ourselves to our own self image. In many ways I believe the intention behind the before-and-after picture is to show growth and progress. Here's the Thing, I cannot stand before and after pictures anymore. We live our lives striving to be better, but that doesn't mean the person we were before should be any less valued or recognized then the person we are today. True growth comes with having to truly look at oneself. Believe me, sometimes it ain't pretty but we only get one chance at this thing called life. I'm very troubled by the culture we surround ourselves with of comparison in so many aspects of society, beauty, and how we allow it to determine our self-worth. Even more troubling is the internal battle we face with ourselves every day, comparing who we are to who we were, and who we think we should be.

Let me give you a recent example, I was scrolling through some old pictures. I had debated whether or not I would post them on this blog, i've decided I will not. You're more than welcome to go through and look at anything you choose to from my past. I came upon some photos during a time where I had lost a significant amount of weight in a very unhealthy way due to a stressful environment. Let's also not neglect to mention weight fluctuation for me comes and goes like the wind, and it has my entire life. Later that day I was getting ready for my leadership coaching graduation ceremony and heavily debated weather to tuck or untuck my top into my high waisted jeans for an unjustified amount of time. Worrying about being photographed from the wrong angle or if the top would look too loose and would make me look bigger than I am. this debate went on for far too long. I arrived at the event with the shirt tucked in then it became untucked and eventually settled on half- tucked when my rational self decided I didn't care and I am a healthy beautiful woman who has more important things to be focused on. I mean seriously, how unbelievably ridiculous is the that? It got me thinking. Especially once I saw the photos that came out from the event. I looked at the woman in the pictures and all I see is a beautiful strong, healthy, happy, amazing woman. If I were to put her side-by-side with the “skinny woman” I would choose the present-day me as my "after." If we were doing that, which to be clear, we're not. That my friends, is the danger of comparison. The truth is when I first looked back at that skinny girl I thought, "Wow wouldn't it be nice to look like that again." Then I see the photos of myself now, in my own skin and am proud of that girl in the photo who has come so far. Look at everything she overcame with no need to compare her for her journey. I can congratulte her and choose to view her as one in the same.

Your self worth is not determined what size pants you wear. In fact this is not about external beauty at all.  This is about what happens when you truly start to grow, because fact is my friends, you cannot out run your own self image. So If you're constantly looking at those photos or spending an hour debating tucked or untucked, there might still be some work to do. Present company included.I really want to reiterate how much before-and-after photos bother me. I understand the intention comes from a place of wanting to show hardwork and growth, but I just can't get behind comparing ourselves to ourselves. If comparison is the thief of joy, we are surrounded by enough of it already. We should celebrate our victories and accomplishments. It is important to recognize ourselves for the growth and success we achieve. How about we take and alternative angle and begin celebrating those successes by remembering what our good friend and Author John Maxwell says, which is, "Yesterday ended last night." Today is another day to be your very best self. Let us reflect on how we can improve and use our experiences to grow and learn. If we are constantly using comparison as our main metric for self worth, I don't ever see the possibility of ever out running that own self-image.


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